Perfectionism

Trista Signe Ainsworth
5 min readJan 30, 2019

Some things happened last week that I wanted to share with all of you around perfectionism in my life. This is a difficult thing to share because I am always a very positive person and it is difficult for me to share things that haven’t gone well. But, that is part of perfectionism speaking instead of my authentic true self. I feel that I am on a growth journey and have been for the past 3–4 years especially, so I want to share my vulnerable side with all of you as well so that we all may know that there are many curves and bends on our paths.

I feel that I am really in a lesson learning phase right now, and although we all learn lessons daily, sometimes they are hard ones to take.

Recently at the farm where I bake 3 days a week I had a meeting with the main chef and the farm store manager. They wanted to meet with me to see how I was doing since I have been there around 2 months or so and they also wanted to talk about holiday ideas to sell in the store. They told me that there were some items that I had come up with that had sold well. They also told me that there was a customer that was unhappy with a pumpkin pie that they had ordered and it fell at home (sank in the shell). They had refunded them and they are ok with it, but it was devastating news for me. They had positive things to say to me such as they were happy with the amount of items that I produced in the hours that I was there. I remember during my interview that they had said that the previous baker wouldn’t produce a lot in her shift although what she made was of very good quality.

Later that day all I could focus on were the things that had gone wrong. I was really mentally beating up on myself for the mistakes I had made. I was so concerned about being fast and productive I let go of being accurate. I wanted to be perfect! I wanted to have both. I wanted to have everything turn out, but hurry and produce a lot. I was trying to be everything and anything at the same time. I couldn’t let it go. I wanted to be the perfect baker that they were looking for- someone who could produce a lot perfectly. The results of this was that I kept going on this way the next day and proceeded to under-bake some items. I was super upset about that as well. I should have taken my time. I should have slowly worked on the recipe that was new to me and given it time.

The lessons that I have learned from this experience are many that I will share with you.

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Trista Signe Ainsworth

I write stories of love and encouragement from my heart to yours.